Don't even try to understand what's here.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGH!!!

Tchaikovsky must have been turned down for a date when he wrote 'The Nutcracker.'

Never ask a proctologist where his glove box is.

Comercial break:
Visit Valleygirl Resort on the shore of beutiful Lake Fursher Rilly. For reservations call 1-800-Oh-Migod.

A likely story: This is all a test by aliens trying to determine how much nonsense we're able to put up with without cracking.

Now back to news, sports, and weather or not you want to.

Never put off 'til tomorrow what should never be done in the first place.

This is a test of the Emergency Stress Relief System. If this had been a real emergency, I would not have written this, and local law enforcement would have been notified. THIS IS ONLY A TEST!

My pet squid died recently. I'm not really upset about it because I wasn't attached to it.

Now back to news, sports, and weather or not you want to.

And now a word from our sponsor:
Magnification
Back to our program.

No you gimp, an apache is NOT something to fix holes in indians.

Why are they still called 'brassiers' if they are now made of fabric?

Let's have a flashback to the 50's!
COMMIE!!!!
Urm, then again, let's not.

Do mermaids wear algaebras?

An everyday superhero: Manman

Any day now Extraterrestrial law enforcement will issue a ticket to Earth for polluting space.