Goofball Announcements

Here belongs the stuff that would make you stop and stare at the nearest speaker if you heard it.......

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The chemicals in use at the workplace give off fumes which are then inhaled by the workers. This is unsafe and we would ask that all employees stop breathing when entering the workplace.

"May I have your attention, please. In order to increase production, we have instituted a new policy: Workers will now be chained to their workstations and be force-fed stimulants. That is all. For now..."

This is a test of the Emergency Stress Relief System. If this had been a real emergency, I would not have written this, and local law enforcement would have been notified. THIS IS ONLY A TEST!